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I was 19 about to be 20, but going on 11 years old when I became a dad for the first time. Talk about a young dad freaking out…Having a baby at a young age can bring about a ton of fear… But, baby safety, this fear I believe can be misguided and, cause you to step out on what will be a life that you will not only miss out on if you do, but will be a life that can truly change yours for the better. Here is my own story, if you will, about being a young dad and all the expectations that were real and, those that were not. Who's Your Daddy? Well, I am. I was, I was 19 when my first son was born. Like you maybe, I was not married yet, but considered the relationship a pretty serious one, even if the other party did not. But, suffice it to say, the union brought forth my son, and man-o-man! was I afraid! All of a sudden my world was full of expectations, and expectations were things I was still trying to love up to with my own parents, now I was one. But, looking back, the expectations really did change me over time. No, not all of a sudden as some would have you believe, hey, we are human and side on err before we side on the good. This means I was still a little selfish with "my time". But, having a father of my own who had just went through his own adventure in growing up, plus that of stable grandparents, a little less "ME" is what what was called for, and more "about" my boy and his welfare is where it was finally focused. No, I was not perfect, there were moments and days, but like I said, I was trying my best, and when being human, do as humans do, screw it up. The marriage lasted 3 years. But, my love for my son continues to this day. It was not all "her" fault either, I was young and dumb, and dumb is a choice, not an excuse. In the end, neither of us were truly in love, we just pretended for the kids sake, and that can be a curse on a healthy child's mind. I do not agree with divorce, but if she (or he) cheats, let her go. If she (or he) is truly unhappy, let them go… Eventually, love will find it's way home or, it was never really love. I found that eventually…with Jesus. How To Be A Good Dad They say all you have to do dad, is show up… Whoever said that is an idiot. No, I will not apologize for this statement, because it is ultimately true. You have to love your child. You have to love your child more than your own life, your video games, your drinking, your drugs, your career, your Sunday football game and, like I said, once again, YOUR OWN LIFE. And, if you think humans have the ability to love anything other than ourselves, well, you would be highly misinformed. Not that it is completely your fault here, it is just a prevalent world view that is marred and, like all other faith based beliefs, "believed". To love my son as a dad should, I went to the Father of us all, and there I asked how to love him. The answer was simple "I am love" He said… So, I needed him within my heart to actually be able to love anyone else other than myself. See, when I hear people say you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else, including our own children, they are simply lying, they already love themselves…just ask them. If they say they do not or get all esoteric on you, they are making the crap up…or, rehashing some liberal talking points. Being a good dad is not a truly natural thing, yes, I believe certain things come naturally, but for the most part, they are learned. This is why so many "dad's" today leave, abandon or simply ignore their children, they learned it by example. If you want to know why a generation has become a less moral generation, look at the generation before it. I did not want that, I wanted to be a dad. No, better yet, I wanted to be a GREAT DAD! And, this was the reason for my own search for God, and funny as it may sound, He was already there waiting for me… Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. Yes, be afraid, but be afraid of what can really go wrong, not what you think might go wrong. So many times do I hear of friends and family who have not yet had children talk about all the things that can go wrong. Well, to quote John Bender (The Breakfast Club): "Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place." Yo are going to screw up here and there, and to tell you a truth, it will most likely be on the small stuff. Even you young dad, you will screw up here and there, but it is nothing you and the Good Lord cannot fix and work it for the good in the end. Be afraid of not being there for your son or daughter, they are your children after all… They are your little baseball player or, your little princess who deserves your caring heart to do just that, to honestly care. Besides, what is so important in your life at this time? • Video games? • Girls • Guy's night out? • Booze? • Drugs? • Worrying about being a dad in the first place? • What your upbringing was like? • Repeating that history? • Losing your friends? (they would not be friends then, duh.) • Losing your own family? • Losing your own future? All of these are simply excuses, I would know, I ran them through my own head, and on more than one occasion! In The End. In the end, that child needs you. And, to tell you one more truth, as a young dad, you need them too! As a matter of fact, for some younger dad's out here, that little one will set your path straight…you know, the one you always wanted but came up with excuses not to follow. But, I am preaching to the choir today, because the more the days pass, the less and less young people actually care about anyone other than themselves. I know, baby shoes, I was one for awhile, and it seems to only be getting worse. Step up and be the man you claim to be. Want respect? Take responsibility, baby care, respect is earned, not given just because you think you deserve it. But giving respect and love to your your child, well, even this young dad at the time knew that was a given, period. Article written and Published by Blogger David Boozer Roseburg ,USA. http://gaminganywhere.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1134 http://miatsukozzz123.punbb-hosting.com/viewtopic.php?pid=206#p206 http://nothing-2-fear.de/forum/index.php?action=showthread&kid=16&id=6333 http://www.nextstepdms.com/dealer/forum/index.php?a=vtopic&t=73 |
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