锘? Whenever I do a Communication Seminar  Lorenzo De Silvestri Maglia , my audience is full of people with different needs. Some are there because they consider themselves to be assertive but their friends, co workers and family would label them aggressive. A small group is there because they hate telling other?s what they want or think. They learn in class that no one owns a crystal ball and so they need to develop the skills to speak up assertively and state their needs. And then the majority is there because they just can?t say no to anyone. They get taken advantage of personally as well as professionally. They feel saying no means that they are rejecting someone and they hate rejection themselves. They believe in being a ?good team member? and they mistakenly believe saying ?yes? is required if they want to hold on to that label. Each person in this group needs help in saying no ? assertively?not aggressively or passively. So using the word ?no? can actually help in advancing your career and getting you noticed as someone who is decisive, and values their time. This tool is also imperative for life balance. Is that a problem in the great U S of A? You betcha! Today?s American worker is working 30 days more a year than just three years ago. We are asked to do more and more with fewer resources. Many of us are using our vacations to get control of the work load at home ? painting, repairs, remodeling. If you can learn to say ?no? more assertively and make better choices with your time ? you will actually have more time to get done what you want to get done. One of the problems with getting our lives into balance is that we are doing for everyone else in our life that there is no time left over for ourselves. Exercise program? Out of the question if you?re that Little League parent that shows for every game and practice, and the Sunday School teacher that never misses a class  Giacomo Bonaventura Maglia , and that babysitter on weeknights for your friends or family. Somewhere a long life?s path you must learn to say ?NO? to others so that you can say ?YES? to yourself. Some passive communicators use an old tool called ?white lies?. As our parents taught us ? one lie leads to another. And then it becomes even more work to remember which lie you have told to whom to be able to keep all those stories straight. As you will read in other chapters of this book, avoidance is a tool never used by an expert communicator. So forget your white lies. With confidence and an even tone of voice, you can assertively make yourself clear and be heard. In fact, some people have been pushing and pushing you over the years?just waiting for you to say that two letter word?NO. So let?s get you started. The first issue?volunteerism. I believe we are not put on this earth to take, take, take. We need to give back. Volunteerism is great! And you can be a good citizen WITHOUT giving your time away. Remember  Mattia Perin Maglia , that old saying...you either have all the money in the world and no time to do anything with it or all the time in the world and no money to do anything with it? That?s a very useful tool to use when you need to say ?no?. If your life is out of balance that it?s the time that you desperately need to have added to your life. How do you do that? Here are some real life examples and responses or techniques that can be implemented into your life to allow you to be savvy and successful with the word ?no?. 1. Weekend Event Participation. The next time you?re asked to volunteer your Saturday for a charity event, here?s your reply. ?Thank you for thinking of me. No, I can?t give you that time to sell hotdogs at the game. I DO however want to support the league so let me cut you a check for $ ____ and where would I need to send that?? or ?No I?m not available. What a great opportunity for my children to donate to the community. What time should I send Craig?? or ?No, and that sounds like a great way to raise funds. I was thinking about donating some of our old toys and clothes to the upcoming big garage sale. When and where should I deliver those?? 2. Solicitors. Even if you are on the ?do not call? list, sometimes a solicitor can catch you on the phone at night, on weekends  Daniele Padelli Maglia , and at dinner. We hear their scripted dialogue and we really don?t have the time to listen to it. I usually give them the courtesy and allow them to finish their script (afterall it is THEIR job and I don?t want to be rude?everybody has to make a living. So here are several responses that have worked for me. ?Thank you for calling. No, I?ve already given to my designated charity for this year? or ?NO. I know you must value your time as I do mine, so please take me off of your list so that you won?t be wasting your time again in the future. Thank you?. Or ?No thank you and I hope you have good luck with your other calls tonite. Goodbye.? ?No thank you, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU? (Pausing between the no?s, escalating your tone  Francesco Acerbi Maglia , and strengthening of your voice). Remember tone of voice is just as important as the words you will use. 3. Interruptors. Alternate offerings have been used in several of our examples so far. By giving trol very little of your day because of these interruptions. You take pride in getting as much on their project. First of all you need to know that when someone asks ?gotta minute?? You can tell them ??no now I?ve got 22?. Not really ? you don?t have to be a smart alec ? and yet in reality  Alessandro Florenzi Maglia , the research shows tha.